Here’s an album that caught me off guard. The title Spent the morning watching TV and looking through my phone sounds like something by a total slacker; I was honestly expecting songs by a guy who could barely stay awake, let along create music. Instead, this is one of the most professionally recorded and beautifully written collections of rock songs I’ve heard in a while.
John Wallace Wheatley of Hertfordshire, England is a film industry veteran, which becomes clear when you view the simple but engaging videos he created for this collection. He’s also released three albums with his band Suburban Dirts and had a UK chart hit in 2004. For his first solo album, he ditched his acoustic sound in favor of electric guitar. He describes this album as “50% self conscious soul pop and 50% existential mellotron rock.” He’s assisted by Sid Wheatley (vibraslap), David Austin (percussion), Chris Varley (bass), Andy Fairclough (mellotron), Steve Brookes (drums) and Joe and Robin Bennett (backing vocals). The album was produced by Chris Clarke at Reservoir Studios, London, and mastered by Mark Lord at Supernature. Wheatley could have titled this album “Cemetery Smokes” as it features two versions of the song which inspired the album. As “Cemetery Smokes II” recounts (and which confusingly comes first), Wheatley happened to stumble upon a gravestone in Bunhill Fields that had his own name. “Don’t want to be alone in the dark tonight,” he sings, “Don’t believe in ghosts / but I’m petrified / curiosity led me to the grave / carved into the stone was my own name.” Right away this song sounds like an A.O.R. hit with perfect ’70s style harmony vocals along the lines of the Doobie Brothers, Steely Dan or Loggins and Messina. “Heartstrings” starts with a Jimmy Buffet island vibe and becomes an elegantly-crafted soft rock gem with winning vocals and an ace arrangement that never falters or shows any hint of insecurity. There’s also a simple but fun video created by Wheatley that shows a band comprised of a panda, bear, bird and penguin. Wheatley says this song expresses his disdain for music industry phonies, before embracing his own phoniness once things went his way. “Last Man Standing” is a sad and soulful lament about trying to survive a broken relationship, though the very cool video presents the idea literally: the last guy on earth, tooling around town to keep busy, and nearly killing himself in a car crash out of sheer boredom. This is another mellow and stately tune with a fun Beatles-like middle section. “Neurotic Dancer” is indeed a highly danceable pop track with a jumpy one-two beat, more Steely-style vocals and a smart and tasteful lead solo. “Cemetery Smokes I” starts with a heart monitor “flatline” tone, and ushers in a smoky blues workout. Wheatley’s vocals are lower and more earthy, but he still features a nice background chorus. Though a good version of this song, it’s basically one riff over and over. “I’ve Only Just Realized” begins with Andy Fairclough’s mellotron (a 1960’s tape-based keyboard with prerecorded “samples”), which here and elsewhere give the songs a fun retro feel. Wheatley again goes for more of a wailing rock vocal in a tune that recalls Leon Russell in its bluesy abandon. “World War III” appears to conflate the end of a relationship with nuclear holocaust. “I took a piece of shrapnel in my right shoulder blade / not to sound dramatic / but it still hurts when I play.” The video Wheatley created is essential viewing: action figures including Captain America, the Flash, and Bill and Ted are animated in front of borrowed footage from “The Day After” and is a total delight. “The Singularity” is a term that references a time in the future when machines become sentient, and all hell breaks loose. Wheatley applies this idea to the awareness of his own insecurities, which keeps him from fully pursuing his music career. “I am one of a kind / like every other bearded wannabe…some shitty band’s misguided ego trip.” Ironically, for a track that has a creepy video of robots performing, this song feels among the most heartfelt of the collection. As the album ends, Wheatley is overtaken with thoughts of mortality: “Our protagonist experiences a billion life times in the nanosecond of his death before accepting that none of this was meaningless.’’ The song begins as a simple vocal, guitar and mellotron lament and builds slowly. A slow ticking percussive “clock” is introduced before the clamorous Walrus-like finale. This is certainly the most ambitious and multi-level song here, and my personal favorite. So it turns out that the album title is a bit of misdirection perfectly in keeping with Wheatley’s “don’t look at me, I’m hideous” propensities, even as he cranks out these heartfelt, professional-sounding songs seemingly without breaking a sweat.
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